*Clears throat* eh ahem (long,wayyy toooo long)
We've all been there. You, me, your siblings, parents, uncle, aunty, gajju phupha, rinku masi, all of us!We all love a good photograph of ourself. Infact if someone clicks us in the angelic light, we cherish (read brag about) that photo long enough to make that photographer a hell of a local star to an extent he starts googling the price of a dslr and starts a photography fan page of his own.
"A picture is worth a thousand words" for this gen x translates to " a nice DP is worth a hundred likes" right? Besides pictures are a terrific way to reminisce about the past, the amazing things we did or we were a part of. (Though on a serious note, the best memories are the ones with no physical record because you'd rather be "in" the moment than be looking for ways to preserve its glimpses for the future.)
So now that we all agree that pictures are awesome, why is it that we suddenly become so self conscious when someone tries to click our picture? Don't tell me you don't get all fidgety and start rummaging through your bag for last minute touch-ups or just your hair to see if something's stuck in it! Don't tell me you don't contemplate all the possible smiles and angles before deciding one. Well if you don't, then you have some splendid amount of confidence which is amazing and also a knowledge of the fact that you are photogenic.
As far as we, the lesser ones are concerned, we try to do everything we can, to look decent in pictures.
And hence there are these : types of posers.
1. The "Snob":
These are the ones that believe they don't have a photogenic smile. So they always keep a straight face in pictures. Some may even prop up their eyebrow(s) making them come across as a very strong/full of attitude person, when on the contrary they might be very down to earth .
2. The "constipated"
Also known as "in deep pain" , as the name implies, these have a very fixated smile. It looks as if it's stuck with the help of glue or is photoshopped. These look like they accidentally sat on a chair with a screw or they've being holding the contents of their bladder for too long, but are being forced to smile. 1 and 2 are the most common poses people land up in while at the studio, when clicking a picture for the id card or passport.
3. The "line"
Their smile looks like a line. They have this serene looking face and a line smack in place of their lips. In India, it's commonly known as a " netaji/politician" smile. It's also a smile you'd have if your kidnapper asks you to smile.
4. The " hyper reflex" syndrome
He/she will pose and what a splendid pose it would be. But right when the button is clicked, bammm! They'll move/jerk/fall/sneeze. And not a microscale movement, a megascale one! They are the ones that have a picture of their hair instead of them, or a hand or a leg floating, or some whitish patches instead of their head in the pictures. Generally their movement is strong enough to cause fellow posers to get distracted and fall off too. They have the reflex of a freakin' ninja.
5. The diva
Most girls fall under this. When a person has had his/her share of horrible pictures, they generally sit and calculate the permutations and ccombinations until they come up with an amazing pose. And when you point the camera at them, *tadaaaa * they transform into a celebrity. You can see imaginary umbrellas, curtains, fans/blowing machines and dslrs and tripods with touch-up dadas around them! The smile's fake but what the heck, it looks hella stunning!
6. Typical expressions
All girls are guilty of having tried atleast one of these.
- Duck face
- smoochy face
- puppy eyes
- the tongue
- the tongue unplugged
- the side view thinker/philosopher (side view selfie)
- the selfie with a peace sign
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- the rock sign
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and the most common, extremely girly pose " the lean on one side pose"
7. The "sabhya"
(yes stock image- couldn't find anything decent-errrr)
Sabhya in Hindi means civilized, very courtly. A sabhya poser is a person who goes out of his/her way to show he/she is decent. Perfect "mair-age photu" material. Hands forming a knot on the front side, a namaste pose, a little bent posture.. Yes our prospective groom and bride in disguise, bhaiyo aur behno!
And last but not the least,
8. The "photobomber"
He is probably not a part of the frame. He is probably on another planet in another dimension. But as soon as your camera goes "kichkyaon" he suddenly materializes! And how.. Wonderful expressions- pig face, racist faces, clown-y actions!!! He just swoops the attention away from your to-be-dp. And in a way that you cannot crop him from the pic. It's so traumatizing. Girls will sob over the loss for days!
So those were my top favourite posers. There are many, but I'm out of categories to put them in. If you are an Indian, browse through your parents' marriage album, especially the reception pictures! I guarantee you'll have some fun spotting the above mentioned specimens! And we too are a part of the hoarde. But these are the pictures that get etched in our memory, that nickname-atize us!
So cheers to the pictures, the inventor of the camera, the person who thought of this and to technological advancement. Before I trail off into another topic , signing off :-P
- Appiqué<3
We've all been there. You, me, your siblings, parents, uncle, aunty, gajju phupha, rinku masi, all of us!We all love a good photograph of ourself. Infact if someone clicks us in the angelic light, we cherish (read brag about) that photo long enough to make that photographer a hell of a local star to an extent he starts googling the price of a dslr and starts a photography fan page of his own.
"A picture is worth a thousand words" for this gen x translates to " a nice DP is worth a hundred likes" right? Besides pictures are a terrific way to reminisce about the past, the amazing things we did or we were a part of. (Though on a serious note, the best memories are the ones with no physical record because you'd rather be "in" the moment than be looking for ways to preserve its glimpses for the future.)
So now that we all agree that pictures are awesome, why is it that we suddenly become so self conscious when someone tries to click our picture? Don't tell me you don't get all fidgety and start rummaging through your bag for last minute touch-ups or just your hair to see if something's stuck in it! Don't tell me you don't contemplate all the possible smiles and angles before deciding one. Well if you don't, then you have some splendid amount of confidence which is amazing and also a knowledge of the fact that you are photogenic.
As far as we, the lesser ones are concerned, we try to do everything we can, to look decent in pictures.
And hence there are these : types of posers.
1. The "Snob":
These are the ones that believe they don't have a photogenic smile. So they always keep a straight face in pictures. Some may even prop up their eyebrow(s) making them come across as a very strong/full of attitude person, when on the contrary they might be very down to earth .
2. The "constipated"
Also known as "in deep pain" , as the name implies, these have a very fixated smile. It looks as if it's stuck with the help of glue or is photoshopped. These look like they accidentally sat on a chair with a screw or they've being holding the contents of their bladder for too long, but are being forced to smile. 1 and 2 are the most common poses people land up in while at the studio, when clicking a picture for the id card or passport.
3. The "line"
Their smile looks like a line. They have this serene looking face and a line smack in place of their lips. In India, it's commonly known as a " netaji/politician" smile. It's also a smile you'd have if your kidnapper asks you to smile.
4. The " hyper reflex" syndrome
He/she will pose and what a splendid pose it would be. But right when the button is clicked, bammm! They'll move/jerk/fall/sneeze. And not a microscale movement, a megascale one! They are the ones that have a picture of their hair instead of them, or a hand or a leg floating, or some whitish patches instead of their head in the pictures. Generally their movement is strong enough to cause fellow posers to get distracted and fall off too. They have the reflex of a freakin' ninja.
5. The diva
Most girls fall under this. When a person has had his/her share of horrible pictures, they generally sit and calculate the permutations and ccombinations until they come up with an amazing pose. And when you point the camera at them, *tadaaaa * they transform into a celebrity. You can see imaginary umbrellas, curtains, fans/blowing machines and dslrs and tripods with touch-up dadas around them! The smile's fake but what the heck, it looks hella stunning!
6. Typical expressions
All girls are guilty of having tried atleast one of these.
- Duck face
- smoochy face
- puppy eyes
- the tongue
- the tongue unplugged
- the side view thinker/philosopher (side view selfie)
- the selfie with a peace sign
- the rock sign
and the most common, extremely girly pose " the lean on one side pose"
7. The "sabhya"
Sabhya in Hindi means civilized, very courtly. A sabhya poser is a person who goes out of his/her way to show he/she is decent. Perfect "mair-age photu" material. Hands forming a knot on the front side, a namaste pose, a little bent posture.. Yes our prospective groom and bride in disguise, bhaiyo aur behno!
And last but not the least,
8. The "photobomber"
He is probably not a part of the frame. He is probably on another planet in another dimension. But as soon as your camera goes "kichkyaon" he suddenly materializes! And how.. Wonderful expressions- pig face, racist faces, clown-y actions!!! He just swoops the attention away from your to-be-dp. And in a way that you cannot crop him from the pic. It's so traumatizing. Girls will sob over the loss for days!
So those were my top favourite posers. There are many, but I'm out of categories to put them in. If you are an Indian, browse through your parents' marriage album, especially the reception pictures! I guarantee you'll have some fun spotting the above mentioned specimens! And we too are a part of the hoarde. But these are the pictures that get etched in our memory, that nickname-atize us!
So cheers to the pictures, the inventor of the camera, the person who thought of this and to technological advancement. Before I trail off into another topic , signing off :-P
- Appiqué<3
2 comments:
chandler- the constipated...photoshoot with monica! :P
:D
Oh Yes Chandler Monica :P
besides, Kshama, Amazing observation XD. And the Images are hilarious :P
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