Segregation post...
:-D
You know what that means!!! Yes, a post as long as Rapunzel's hair. So run now, I've done my bit of warning you.
So for the prologue, I am a big FB addict. I love scrolling through newsfeeds; I like the FB messenger, the stickers. But of late, I don't post much, I don't know why but I just don't.
So one day I was peacefully scrolling past some newsfeeds (btw FB gives me all the news faster (though not 100% accurate) than the news channels…:-P) and I just saw so many annoying posts. I was flabbergasted to see such a giantnormous amount of annoying people in my friend list. Maybe I am one to them. But then I thought maybe I should write a post to define various irritating people we often stumble upon while we're logged in. i.e. into any social media site. So here goes... Nothing.
1. HASHTAG IGNORANTS:
Now these people require formal training and need to be punished for using hashtags without knowing their purpose. Hashtags just basically help us see all posts under a common head, head that is the text following # symbol. But apparently people have begun using it without any knowledge whatsoever about it, cause it's the new cool yo! The hashtags are more like #osm! Now how and why would someone search for a hashtag "osm"! There is no word limit for statuses on FB unlike Twitter. So why, like why would you do this? :'(
Secondly, these people with #throwback. When I'm even a bit confused about the meaning of a word, I use a dictionary or Google. Do you know what it means? It means anything to remind us of the past, like childhood stuff for teens or you know decent past... last month, last year sorts. But people nowadays click a picture on Monday and post it on Wednesday with the hashtag throwback. :|
Why? Just why? Throwback does mean past but not supremely recent past.
2. LIFEBOOK:
For these, social media is the stage and their life is a masala packed theatrical. Everything they do from waking up, being in a relationship, fights with the significant other, break ups, eating, pooping, bathing, not taking a shower for weeks.... Everything goes on facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat. Like everyone is just so jobless as to leave everything and log onto FB at 10 pm and read about your melodramatic life.
3. THE OVER SHARER:
We get it. That shit is hilarious. But I've already liked those pages and I receive those posts too in my newsfeeds. You don't have to share it again. At least not every- single- picture:|
4. THE SHIT TAGGER:
These are probably new to the world or social media especially FB or just living in bubble. They will add pictures of qualities, emo quotes, good morning/afternoon/ night/ evening/ month/ year and tag you in it or a selfie of themselves sporting a very rastachaap ganji and rastachappier "gooogals" (major pun intended) and they will tag you in it with the subtitle -" hey guys this is me. How do I look?” Stupid, that's exactly what you look like!
5. GAME REQUEST CLANS:
First farmville, criminal case, candy crush and now farmheros saga and quiz up. If I get around 5 notifications per day, 6 out of 5 are game requests. You know how that feels right? You log into FB, you see a red 1 square on the earth sign and you are so exited! Who's it going to be? Crush liking your picture or likes on a very intellectual status??? None... it's just plain bullcrap. Tons of game requests and nothing else! Listen up you gamer. I don't care who you are, but I will find you and punch you in your delicate zones to make sure you don’t ever procreate. Also I don't care about lending you a virtual life but I sure will take away your real one if one more request appears in my noti-box.
6. THE CHORS:
"Give due credit"- said no one ever. Fame hungry monsters... First of all you repeat our answers loudly in class and earn brownie points with teachers and now this! Our statuses? At least give the author of it some recognition. These people grow up to become famous plagiarists.
7. THE WTFs: NONSENSE
What they write, what they do... Only they understand. “I tell cow you rain farming is no soil" .... Something of this sort:|
I request you to sit with someone who knows at least one language properly and ask them to help you out. Or your creative genius statuses might just be lost to the universe because none of us are adept at understanding your high level content.
8. THE FRANDSHEEPERS:
Desperate friends on your list that like pages full of kinkiness. You'll know them when you see a very pornographicish picture of a woman appearing in the newsfeeds because your friend liked it. Also people who just randomly message people..." will you do freandshep with me?" No. Just no! I'll block you, that's exactly what I will do. Girls, check your “others” folder ASAP on facebook to discover a world of unseen messages of the afore mentioned kind that you have never seen before.
9. THE STALKATHONERS
Basic level stalking, I admit, all of us do. Come on, be a sport and accept it. But these people, they know when you have liked a comment on some random FB page. And you are just dumbfounded at their ability to locate / trace your activities, even though you have tightened up your security settings and even though you have partially blocked them. :-o
What kind of sorcery is this?
10. THE STATUS POOPERS:
These people are too cool according to their own opinion. They will go around pooping on every status you or any of your mutual friends put. He's a subtle hater but more of an attention whore. Sabotaging your status and gaining likes on his really childish comment is what he wants. Sometimes though, girls will lose their cool and block these crappy mouthed humans! Also special mentions to the recent group of people added to this sect- the old-diggers. They stalk a friend preferably because no one, I repeat, no one else has the patience to deal with that kind of crap and they will scan your timeline for anything they find even a tiny bit off. It could be a word that you have misspelled or an old photo and they will add a completely non-funny image or a very over used saying like “k” “YOLO” “Sweg, lel” and tag people belonging to the same species to come and join them in their monkey see-monkey do business. They will sabotage your newsfeeds with only one person’s profile in just a day’s time and embarrass the shit out of that person for things he did in his innocent past. Also they would scare the crap out of regular FB users or potential next victims making them delete evidences from the past and creating a fake perfect profile. Killing innocence and memories like a sad-ass-got no life-junkie!
That's all for now! So I apologize for not being funny or making you even giggle!
Sowwieee
Byeee :-D
- Appiqué<3
