Facebook dp abusers- which one are you?

Another category segregation post! Yea I know,  I know... Booooring! But I'm still going to upload it... Oops I already did * evil grin*
Ay what's up, y'all!
Had it worked the way I wanted it to, the world I mean, I would start a YouTube channel and put up videos rather than writing these posts. But neither do I know the ABCs of the video editing world, nor do I think I'm a prospective candidate for a viral YouTuber! So without further ado, I shall begin with types of Facebook picture uploaders!
Type 1. The " beast"

You all know this one person in your friend-list. He is a self proclaimed "beast". These put up pictures of themselves in the gym,  pictures with gym buddies and gym equipment or a selfie -shirtless or purposely lifted to expose their mid riffs and protein filled abs. Frankly the ones that work their way to that kind of a body via working out  deserve appreciation but not the booster buffs. Protein shake stocking isn't standing ovation worthy. These remind me of balloon animals... I sometimes want to put a pin through their skin just for a quick check.
Type 2. The poet-not!

These include people who have a very normal looking or at times, weird looking picture or a beautiful DSLR picture of nature/close up of some object or something with a completely unrelated quote/phrase/fancy poem/song written in the tag line/ description. The description will almost make you gag 99% of the times or cause you to say " no no no" for an infinitely long duration of time. I've seen a lot of girls do this. It makes no sense to me. It's a very pixelated, blurry image with a duck face pose and the quote reads " if a man doesn't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best!" . You will inevitably have a " :|" expression upon encountering such pictures.
Type 3. The expressionista!

I love these people. They will have a collage of all the pictures where they have weird expressions, where they go complete nuts. Crazy pictures are sooo awesome! But sometimes, not always. If they discover a stupid expression that makes them look cute/decent they continue to hold that pose for all the pictures that follow. It then becomes a very " meh" thingy.
Type 4. The "control c+ control v"

How? I really need to know how these people are so consistent. They will have the same pose, same smile, same hairstyle in allllll of their pictures. ALL! With descriptions " at the movies" " fun time at the beach" " sad" " overjoyed".... ALL with the same pose.
Type 5. The "plastic surgeon"

Now these are again divided into 2 categories: 1. The natural: a fake pout or purposely accentuating all the wrong portions of your body by using clever posing techniques ! 2. The artist: a photoshop master! Though if you've got a creative eye, you will be able to make out where the brushes have done their job.
Type 6. The free effects

I'm guilty of being a member of this. I use soooo many filters and effects. I love bokeh, soften and b&w way too much. But that does not make it right. We go overboard so many times.  I used to also use stickers. And now when I see kids do that and use the tag " hardcore" " Yolo" , I cry a little at how retarded I was( sometimes- am).
Type 7. The "chumbak/magnet"

Let's just say if they were YouTubers they would be vloggers. These use, uh no abuse the front cam of their phone way too much. They will always have an arm in the pic and they will be sticking to a new person in every other pic, with the person either looking  super uncomfortable or enjoying the supreme body contact.
Type8: the #hashTagAbuser

"Hashtags make it possible to group messages, since one can search for the hashtag and get the set of messages that contain it."-Source:wiki.Twitter sparked it and instagram provided the oxygen to fuel this volcano of hashtags that this person has got to post. A simple picture of a landscape and this person takes it up as a challenge to find out all elements in it (#friends #RoadTrip #trees #sogreen #water #freshair #air #car #farms #yucky #lagaanFeel #ddljkhet #srkBecauseIMentionedDdlj #Dhabha #dhabhaFoodCausesDiarrhoea #natureIsKawaii :| :-/ )
A girl in my FB friend list had a tag #osamFun. How the hell and why would someone search and stumble upon awesome spelled as Osam. She could have just added an "a" at the end to make it funny.
Please let us all look into our friend list, find out this bugger and explain the role of a hashtag or atleast exterminate such humans from the face of "facebook" haha (lame).
Type 9: the "face canvas"

If you haven't yet figured out, these are people who cannot be heard in dps because their make up is sooo loud. They are virtually dead as they are "buried" under 5 layers of bb cream, lotion, compact, eye make up stuff, etc. They literally color their face. Literally. My personal favorites are the ones that use neon stuff. If there is a power cut, you can always rely on their light emitting superpowers! :-D
Type 10: the self proclaimed divas.

Girls mostly, but sometimes guys too cross the line. These are people who will use #ootd way too much. Ootd-outfit of the day!
They find it necessary to mention in the form of hash-tags or proper list type description, what all they are seen wearing in the pic. From the dress to accessories to makeup to perfume... Everything!
Type 11: the ignorant

These will either have a very small extremely blurry image of themselves or they will have a car/bike/actor /actress picture,  not just once but 3-4 copies of the same image in their album. You almost want to say this to them: You had one job, one job -to upload a pic.
Type 12:the Embarrassingpics.pvtltd

These are guys or girls that would update Embarrassing pics of themselves. Like pics when they were totally high, sweaty pics post some extreme DJ dance parties just to tell the world- I am sooo cool! I don't give a damn about my dps when I partay!
If you see statuses including words- drunk, Yolo, party like no tomorrow, swag, hangover, beer, nightlife then you've found a member of this species.
So those were,  according to my reports(which are very impulsively made and never proofread), the top 12 species of the Facebook dp world. If you find yourself in one of those categories, congratulations you are addicted to Facebook. If not, congratulations, you have an exciting life. :-P
And now, I shall take your leave.
  - Appiqué<3